Week 88: Readjustment

Six months remaining and I am back at work. Back to the village where the only café in town is my own kitchen and I would not know the first thing about making an Espresso martini (nor am I up late enough to reasonably enjoy such a drink). I have been here for twenty months and throughout that time my reasons for being here have consistently shifted and evolved. I got to a place this week that I was no longer sure I had a strong enough reason to stay. After numerous conversations with friends and family I decided even if I am unsure why I am here, I don’t have a strong enough reason for leaving. For all you long distance runners reading this, I have decided that I’ve hit my wall. Peace Corps is a marathon and I am at mile twenty and I have hit my wall, even though I am not sure why I am still running, I can trust that it will make sense to me later and I want to cross the finish line. As my marathon running sister said, gummy bears and Gatorade. Luckily my sister’s boyfriend was so kind as to bring me gummy bears and I do have Gatorade but as my sister reminded me it is strictly for rehydrating after getting sick (Oral Rehydration salts are possibly the worst thing I have ever drank). As my mom said, its always hard to come back after a vacation, and I am lucky that I have been able to take such a great vacation with amazing people. As long as I am gentle with myself I know I can make it past this wall. Although there is no shame in leaving the Peace Corps early and I support all of my peers who left for various reasons, but I am not ready to go yet.